By Lynne Curry, Ph.D, SPHR bio
The problem lands in your lap. One of your best trial litigators is an office bully. As office manager, you’re expected to handle this. But how? The lawyer is truly effective, brings in a large share of revenue, and is a partner – well above your pay scale.
Is there a way to get him to bully outside the office, with opposing counsel, yet be a kinder, gentler Darth Vader inside the office?
Yes. Here’s how.
Make the case to the managing partner(s)
Your managing partners may not see one of their attorneys as a bully or may feel the revenue and victory results the bully attorney brings to the firm well worth the collateral damage. If you bring the bullying problem to them, they may tell you to smooth over the situation or even worry that if you consider a fellow attorney a bully you might see them in the same light.
If you don’t want them to shoot the messenger, make clear the true cost of an unchecked bully:
- You lose good employees;
- Morale plummets and with it productivity;
- Absenteeism and mistakes rise; and
- The increasing absenteeism puts extra workload pressure on others, who now show signs of stress.
In other words, focus on the problem where it matters, and not the attorney.
Get buy-in from the bully
If you want to turn around a workplace bully attorney, particularly one who ranks in status above you, you have to make a compelling case for them to change. After all, bullying works for the bully. From early on, the bully learns to manipulate, intimidate, or humiliate to get what he or she wants. Bullying even receives applause, because bullying works with opposing counsel and in win/lose advocacy.
When making the case, forget asking the bully to consider the consequences to others. Bullies listen to the radio station, WIFM, what’s in it for me. You need to address what makes it in your bully’s interest to change.
Be clear about what needs to change
Henry Kissinger once said as he mediated a resolution in the Middle East, “We can agree on land, but not religion.” Within the workplace, you can’t create personality change (religion), but you can ask for behavioral (land) change.
Exactly what do your paralegals, legal assistants, and front desk staff need changed in how your hard-charging attorney interacts with them? Make a list of the desired behavioral changes, prioritize the items, and then ask your bully to make three specific changes.
From past experience, three commonly requested changes are:
- I can hear you when you give me instructions. Please say them instead of yelling;
- Please use my name and not a descriptive word when talking about me; and
- When I email you a question, it’s because I need an answer to finish the work I’m doing for you and don’t want to interrupt you, so please respond so I can meet your deadline.
As you’re negotiating for these changes, make it clear that you’re not looking for a personality overhaul. When I’ve worked with hard-charging Darth Vader attorneys, I’ve found it helps to distinguish between the merits of using adversarial tactics externally and the negative consequences that follow when those same behaviors are used internally. In other words, it’s not “what,” it’s where.
Teach Teflon
Finally, as law office manager, teach those who work most closely with your Darth Vader attorneys how to handle difficult behaviors without crumpling or internalizing the negativity. This doesn’t mean you condone bullying; it means that a bully’s temporary targets need to learn how to turn it around without personalizing the comments and taking them home in their heads.
You can teach others how to stand up to the bullying, so that the bully’s comments belong to the bully and not to them. For example, if a bully yells, Is that ALL you got done? and you respond, Yes, that’s where I am. What’s your highest priority for what’s next?, you’ve taken control of the interaction.
There is hope
According to trial litigator turned HR consultant Richard Birdsall, “Attorneys who bully sometimes know they’re amped up and need to cut it out. Trial attorneys spend fifty percent of their time fighting on paper, in court, and over the phone on a multiple of issues from discovery to pretrial motions. The stress piles up. But a team member who has a good relationship with the attorney, who says “chill” or breathe” and can hold a mirror up, we’ll even appreciate it.”
Do you have a bully in your firm? If you’re the office manager, you can take-on the problem and survive.
Lynne Curry, Ph.D., SPHR, author of Beating the Workplace Bully and Solutions and owner of the Alaska-based management consulting firm, The Growth Company Inc. consults with law firms to create real solutions to real workplace challenges. Her company’s services include HR On-call (a-la-carte HR), investigations, mediation, management/employee training, executive coaching, 360/employee reviews and organizational strategy services. You can reach Lynne @ www.thegrowthcompany.com, via her workplace 911/411 blog, www.thegrowthcompany.com or @lynnecurry10 on twitter.
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