National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), observed in October, is a time to recognize victims and raise awareness about the devastating impact of domestic violence. As the manager of a law office, you are in a unique position to detect possible abuse of both clients and staff members and to be of help.
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another partner. This kind of abuse affects everyone—men, women, and children of all races, religions, and cultures—without prejudice.
To help prevent domestic violence, it is important to recognize the warning signs. Signs often begin subtly and worsen over time. While not all-inclusive, the following list may indicate potential signs of domestic violence.
- Isolation – Permission is needed before making plans or speaking to friends and family members. Victims may be forced to quit their jobs or drop out of school.
- Low self-esteem – Feeling deserving of the abuser’s violence, accepting fault for, and making excuses for their partner’s behavior.
- Unexplained injuries – Bruises, cuts, scrapes, or even broken bones that are blamed on clumsiness or are in multiple stages of healing.
- Depression or anxiety – Persistent feelings of hopelessness, fear of angering their partner, and fear of repercussions for seeking help.
Helping staff members
If you suspect a staff member is a victim of domestic abuse, it’s essential to handle the situation with sensitivity and care while respecting the employee’s privacy and rights. Here are some steps an office manager can take:
- Maintain confidentiality: Ensure that the employee’s privacy is protected at all times. Do not share their suspicions or concerns with other employees unless there is a legitimate reason to do so, such as ensuring the safety of the victim or other employees.
- Create a safe and supportive environment: Make sure your workplace is a safe and supportive space where employees feel comfortable discussing personal issues. Encourage open communication and trust within your team.
- Offer resources: Provide information about local domestic abuse support services, hotlines, and organizations. Many areas have resources available for victims of domestic abuse, including shelters, counseling services, and legal assistance. Share this information discreetly.
- Express concern and support: Approach the employee privately and express your concern for their well-being without making any assumptions. Use a compassionate and non-judgmental tone, emphasizing that you are there to support them.
- Listen actively: If the employee chooses to confide in you, listen carefully without interrupting or passing judgment. Allow them to share their experiences and feelings at their own pace.
- Respect their decisions: Understand that domestic abuse situations are complex, and victims may have reasons for not taking immediate action. Respect their choices, and do not pressure them to disclose more than they are comfortable with.
- Offer workplace flexibility: If necessary, provide workplace accommodations, such as flexible hours or remote work options, to help the victim maintain their job while addressing their personal situation.
- Encourage seeking help: Gently encourage the employee to seek help from domestic violence support services, counseling, or law enforcement if they feel it’s safe to do so. Offer assistance in finding local resources.
- Develop a safety plan: If the employee is willing, help them create a safety plan that includes steps to take in case of emergency, a list of contacts to reach out to, and a safe place to go if needed.
- Document incidents (with consent): If the employee agrees, document any incidents or visible injuries they report, including dates, times, and descriptions. This documentation may be helpful if legal action becomes necessary.
- Involve HR or senior management (with consent): If the employee is comfortable, involve HR or senior management to ensure they are aware of the situation and can provide additional support and guidance.
Remember that it’s crucial to prioritize the safety and well-being of the victim throughout this process. Domestic abuse situations can be incredibly delicate and potentially dangerous, so always consider involving experts or professionals who can provide guidance on handling such situations. Additionally, be aware of relevant laws and workplace policies related to domestic abuse and employee support in your jurisdiction.
Helping a loved one
If you are concerned that someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, the National Domestic Violence Hotline recommends the following approach:
- Express your concerns to your loved one in a gentle and non-judgmental way.
- Encourage participation in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family.
- Encourage outreach to people who can provide help and guidance, such as the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-SAFE (7233).
- Continue to show your support regardless of the decisions made by your loved one.
For more information and guidance on helping someone who is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free at 800-799-SAFE (7233). You can also contact your Component Employee Assistance Program for guidance and resources.